Holiday 2009 [Day 1]

December 23rd through the 4th of January. That's a long time but for two cities, that's not really long at all. And for as much as I feel like I need a break from the bubble, SF, that doesn't seem long at all. Let me count the days in my head... 13 days. Today [Wednesday] I'm flying home to Baton Rouge. Flight leaves at 2:35 and it's 7:42 now. I just went to grab a coffee. I should go for a walk since I won't be able to see the city and breath its air for the next two weeks. I need to pack tho. Maybe I'll get that outta the way first. Now that i've grabbed some coffee, the wheels will start turning and I'll get everything to fall into place. I wonder how many joints i'll smoke before I go.

I'm always a little anxious about going home. The reality of being back in a place that I left gladly and never want to live in again. It's been 8 years since I left but I go back at least once a year.

I don't know what makes it so anxiety inducing. I am glad to be getting out of SF, though. Work is overwhelmingly underwhelming. My performance in life isn't where I'd like it to be. I can't even focus long enough to figure out what needs to be done before I leave. It's been nice not having Gretch the Retch in the apartment. The goal is to allow the next two weeks shape the next two months, two years, etc.

Focusing on discipline and self-understanding is important. There will be things that I won't want to change because they are comfortable.

I'm posting the vacation on A4A even though I won't be able to hang out until Monday or Tuesday of next week. I'm going to try to post for both baton rouge and Houston.

I spoke to Jenna and Jordan this morning. That was crazy. Here are some outtakes:

"I'm the one with HIV and you're the one dying. WTF?"-J. Beroid

"I can but... If I found out I was the same blood type, I might."

Gimme two g's for my kidney... ok, 850 each. Or you gon die, how bout that.

I wanna slit his throat for him. He's so depressing.

Advanced Personality Test Results

Advanced Personality Test

Extraversion 82%
Stability 26%
Orderliness 38%
Accommodation 54%
Intellectual 54%
Interdependence70%
Mystical 23%
Materialism 77%
Narcissism 63%
Adventurousness70%
Work ethic 43%
Conflict seeking70%
Need to dominate70%
Romantic 23%
Avoidant 43%
Anti-authority 77%
Wealth 37%
Dependency 57%
Change averse 30%
Cautiousness 43%
Individualism 57%
Sexuality 83%
Peter pan complex 30%
Histrionic 43%
Vanity 57%
Artistic 43%
Hedonism 77%
Physically active30%
Religious 70%
Humanitarian 83%
Fiscal acumen 17%
Self image 70%
Honor 30%
Accountability 50%
Paranoia 70%
Extravagance 30%
Family drive 30%
Indie 10%

Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

Stability results were low which suggests you are very worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Accommodation results were medium which suggests you are moderately kind natured, trusting, and helpful while still maintaining your own interests.

Intellectual results were medium which suggests you are moderately intellectual, curious, and imaginative.
Advanced Analysis (this is private info, for your eyes only)

| prominent scores | moderate scores | average scores |

Extraversion - you love social interaction. You might not enjoy a career which involved working alone exclusively.
Low Stability - you are not very stable. Regular aerobic exercise has been proven to improve emotional stability, happiness, anger, and anxiety issues.

Materialism - you value lots of cash. If you truly value money, you might as well make sure your energies go into activities which are more likely to yield it.

Narcissism - you like awards, achievements, accomplishments.

Conflict seeking - you enjoy a little bit of violence, discord, and trouble making. This is a tendency that should be exercised with consideration of the happiness of others.

Low Romantic - not very romantic, eh? :( for you! Researchers have found that romantic love can act like a powerful narcotic on the brain. That can't be all bad.

Sexuality - you like sexual pleasure (and probably pleasure in general).

Hedonism - you enjoy the pleasure of libations. Moderation will ensure a longer life.

Humanitarian - you want to make the world a better place. I hope to hell you recycle.

Low Fiscal acumen - you can't take it with you and there is no debtor's prison anymore but running a balance on a credit card (if you do) is not very wise.

Low Honor - you tend not to keep your word. Don't you think that's something to change?

Low Extravagance - you are not into the bling-bling. Vapid attractive people might not want to sleep with you.

How to Keep a Positive Attitude | eHow.com

How to Keep a Positive Attitude | eHow.com

Keeping a positive attitude isn't always easy, especially when you are going through a difficult time in your life or you are trying to get past years of habitual negative thoughts. Positive thinking is the key to having an optimistic outlook on life. You can keep a positive attitude, even when things aren't going smoothly in your life.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Step 1

   Fill your mind with positive things. Read encouraging, affirming books and listen to upbeat, happy music. Think about happy memories or things you have to look forward to rather than bad things that have happened or things you dread.

2. Step 2

   Develop yourself spiritually. Research shows that those who are spiritual live longer and more satisfying lives.

3. Step 3

   Keep positive people in your life. Avoid people who have a negative mindset and surround yourself with people who are upbeat, spiritual and fun.

4. Step 4

   Practice positive thinking. Try not to let negative thoughts enter your atmosphere. Think instead of all the good things in your life, even if there aren't very many. Concentrate on your good features instead of your faults.

5. Step 5

   Laugh often. Watch a funny movie or hang out with someone who you can be silly with. Laughter is a great way to get a positive attitude.

6. Step 6

   Learn something new or take up a new hobby. Get out and do things you love to do and enjoy yourself.

7. Step 7

   Reevaluate your situation. It's easy to think negative or pessimistic thoughts when something happens. However, when you think rationally about the facts instead of the fears, you can see a more positive side of things.

Tips & Warnings

• If you have a habit of thinking negatively, try this: divide a sheet of paper into two columns. On one side write every negative thought that comes into your head the moment it occurs. On the other side, find a way to rewrite that negative thought into a positive one. Keep practicing this until your habitual negative thoughts turn into habits of positive thinking.
• Read books on techniques to develop positive thinking if you are having trouble looking on the bright side of things. Remember, you are in control of your own thoughts.
• Negativity can adversely affect your health. Positive people have fewer health issues and live longer, happier lives.

Gemini 12/6/09 Health of your integrated system

December 06, 2009

1. Gemini (5/21-6/21)

   Your physical health depends on your emotional health, and vice versa. More than ever, you're aware of yourself as an integrated system of separate parts. Two obvious game plans emerge from this point. The first is to keep your attitude positive whatever happens. The second is to live comfortably in your body. If you're not already an expert at doing these things, you could easily become one. Hanging out with other optimistic people puts you in the right frame of mind. You know where to find the right crowd.