Why couldn't it just work? How much of this is my fault? Why do I open up to people? Why does the fucking world do this and expect me to stay open. I want to fucking scream!!! Busy is one thing but disregarding me is just fuced up... Woe is me right? I look over myself and hate the feelings that push me here. I want to know what the fuck this is!!!!!! fuck that sorry motherfucker. Why did I tell him? I had a need. At least when I'm high I don't feel this way. I feel like I gave this shit an honest chance. I want him to want me back. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If not then, goddammit, why? ?
Fuck boys... Again.

Why couldn't it just work? How much of this is my fault? Why do I open up to people? Why does the fucking world do this and expect me to stay open. I want to fucking scream!!! Busy is one thing but disregarding me is just fuced up... Woe is me right? I look over myself and hate the feelings that push me here. I want to know what the fuck this is!!!!!! fuck that sorry motherfucker. Why did I tell him? I had a need. At least when I'm high I don't feel this way. I feel like I gave this shit an honest chance. I want him to want me back. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If not then, goddammit, why? ?
Fuck boys... Again.

Jesus, Gemini.

 Daily Horoscope  by Astrology.com Saturday December 6, 2008  



Gemini
----------------
If you're writing an angry or -- worse -- sarcastic email or getting ready to call someone you've got a beef with, don't press any buttons just yet. You need to cool down, maybe for another day or so.

Slowly/Quickly

Boy, you shake me because you feel like the truth. Your skin is soft against my lips and your smell lulls me into waves of comfort. Hesitant smiles overcome by moments that pull me deeper into you. I want more of what I once feared. You are my only exception.

The smell of my own musk makes me need for yours as if they were two halfs of one unique scent. I see you encompassed by me, and me in turn, by you. Smoothly writhing, pushing through the other side of intensity, demanding it to overcome us both. I fear our lack of limit, the possibilities that ebb between us. Your sweetness makes me put my harshness down and I step back for I do not recognize myself. I trust your eyes more than your lips, for they tell me things you may not yet see to say. I see the best for me reflected in them and I shudder.

My hunger for you is impatient and nagging. I see something I never find... Me in love with affection and deeply affected by you.

Ryan, where art thou?

Oh Jesus! Sometimes horoscopes have an eerie way of being close to home:

One of your partners either in romance, life, business, or school has changed radically, recently. It's still taking you some time to get used to. They aren't quite the same person you always thought they were, but you have to get comfortable with the fact that they might be happier now than they were back then. If you care about them, support them in where they are going. Give them some space and wait for them to get back in touch with you.

Ugh! I guess, I guess. I need to focus on me and not use him as a distraction. My to do list is so long and that intimidates me. I am making progress, however. I need to get my priorities straight. I think I just did.