Domino's Pizza's New Recipe

So I want to try it. I know it's gross. It's one of the grossest pizza chains there is. Mr. Gatti's or Godfather's would have to be the worst... CiCi's is worse than frozen pizza from the damned Safeway. But, shit, it's only like $1 for ass many fucking pieces as you can fit in your fucking head in one sitting!

But i'm all about Domino's new pizza because the commercial told me it's delicious. Commercials are my consumer religion. They tell me what to buy.

Infomercials are the worst! They're my crack. For instance, i ordered the girls gone wild vid series not once but twice. My boyfriend was pissed. He made me be his piss play bottom for a whole week. But that's not the bad part! He wouldn't even let me swallow. Selfish bastard.

So, anywayz, I've seen the commercial approximately 760 times while smoking weed and watching Comedy Central. [walking like a zombie] That was just enough times to send me salivating to my computer to the website to find the nearest delivery service in my area. It's as if i'd been bitten and now hungered for the flesh of the living. [Zombie moan]

The dominos pizza site was like hardcore fat girl porn. Ohhhhh . There it was all cheezy and sexy. Lists of toppings. Uh, sauces. I almost blew my load at the words Peppercorn Parmisian Dipping Sauce. Gasp.